Are you a fuckup?

Oh, don't take it like that.

I've been divorced. People fuck up. 

Someone makes what appears to be (and in the moment, IS) a monumentally stupid decision, it alters everything, it hurts absolutely EVERYONE...and for some reason they can rarely say why they did it, later. 

It's not an act, it's the truth, almost down to your cellular level. 

What the hell did I just (am I about to) do?

It's an incredibly (in)convenient laspe in memory. 

It's the relationship insanity plea. 

"I seem to have blacked out during every important junction of this flowchart, your honor.
I was clearly out of my fucking mind." 

Bully for you if you have the world's best hammer-wielding shoulder angel. 

I'm talking to the humans in the audience. 

What I like the best is that so many times (years) after stories like this you hear these wonderful words: 

"it all worked out for the best - were it not for this *insert monumental failure* I would never be here *insert new relationship, new life, new career, new pair of shoes*.

Basically, it's such a sublime mistake that you're unwilling to forget it entirely, and you credit it with all your future success.
You want to pat the mistake on the back and buy it a beer. 

This thought should give you at least a tiny bit of reassurance when you're flush in the afterglow of a nice, new mistake.
It won't, though. 

Nature of the beast.  

So. Who's the fuckup?